I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
