i think i have herpe
just one?
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
