I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
