you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
