White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
