if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize