I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
