i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
