STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Randomize
