super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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