Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Randomize
