He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
