Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
