she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
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