He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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