do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
