His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
