At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
