Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
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