What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
