So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
