Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
