Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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