I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I'm passing your future prison.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
