I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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