She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
