He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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