I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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