The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize