no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
