sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
