it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize