You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
