PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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