you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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