Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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