we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
