12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
