Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
my shit smells like andre
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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