Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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