She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You almost got us killed.
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