shes about as inviting as chlamydia
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
