I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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