I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Randomize
