DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
