the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
