this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
