wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
