Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
