I smell stomach acid.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize