Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
Randomize
