This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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