Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
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