Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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