I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize