My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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