I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
He kissed a someone with a penis
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
